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Online Dating
Resources
Advice
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Quick Tips for Writing Your Personal Ad
The Dos and Don'ts of Internet Dating
Here are some quick suggestions for composing your
personals ad.
Be honest. It's the number one rule - for
Internet ads, and for everything else about dating, for that matter.
There's no point in lying about your age, height, weight, education, or
anything else. If you're doing it to get more guys to respond to your
ad, what does that get you in the end? Eventually it will come out (and
pretty quickly if the lie is about an obvious physical trait), and you
will have only succeeded in wasting his time and yours.
Be thorough and complete. Most dating sites
use a questionnaire format to ask questions about both yourself and your
ideal match. Complete every question as thoroughly as you can, and
include information about your hobbies and interests, favorite
activities, and anything else that would help someone assess whether or
not there's a potential connection. Most of these sites are searchable,
and the more you fill out, the better chance you'll match to others'
searches. And this still goes for questions that may not be part of the
site's search function. Guys need to see a connection in order to
respond, so write as much as you can.
Include at least one photo. If the site
includes an option to upload digital pictures, take advantage of it. Men
in particular are visual creatures, and gay men are no exception. They
want to see you. And many sites include the option to filter out
ads that do not include photos. It's too easy to get a digital picture
these days, and too suspicious to omit it.
Guard your privacy. Avoid disclosing
information in your ad that is so specific that someone could find you.
Don't put in your phone number, address, or similar information.
Consider using a nickname or at least omitting your last name. If the
site requires you to use your own email address rather than their own
built-in messaging functions, consider getting a free email account
through Yahoo, Hotmail, or a similar service where you can protect your
identity.
Discuss your ideal match. Include as much
information as you can about what you're looking for in a partner, and
in a future relationship. Be as broad as you can - the more specific and
narrow your target, the more guys you may end up weeding out
prematurely.
Take it as slowly as you need to. Many other
sites recommend chatting over email and then by telephone several times
before you eventually meet, and then only meet in a public place. It's
good advice, in theory, but guys don't want the hassle of playing games.
If you play it too coy, your respondents might start to ignore you. But
never put yourself in a situation where you are moving faster than
you're comfortable with. And always provide yourself with an exit - like
your own means of transportation to get home from that first date (even
if it's just cab fare).
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