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Ideas for Where to Go on That First Date
The Pluses and Minuses of Different Dating Options
Okay, you've met, you've connected, you're ready to
schedule your first date. But where to go? What to do?
The number one objective of a first date is to be
able to talk and interact with one another - because if you don't get a
chance to get to know one another, will you really have a legitimate
chance to know if you want a second date?
Here are some ideas of traditional "first dates,"
and the strengths and weaknesses of each.
Meeting for coffee. Meeting at a cafe for a
cup of coffee is a classic first date. It's low key, low pressure, and
gives you an opportunity to actually talk with one another. For some, it
may seem a little too low key, more like a "getting to know you"
than an actual date. That's okay - if there's a connection, the second
date can be more romantic and you can always consider that your "first
date" when you tell stories to your grandchildren.
Meeting for a cocktail. This approach is
similar to meeting for coffee, except that you're meeting in a bar for a
drink instead. (Naturally, this assumes that neither one of you are
clean and sober. If one is sober but says he's fine with meeting in a
bar, it still may be a good idea to choose another venue.) If you do
meet for cocktails, choose a bar that is relatively quiet where you can
sit and talk. Bars are full of distractions, which can make this a
less-than-desirable way to have your first date unless you can pick the
right place.
Getting together for dinner (or
lunch). The classic first date is going out for dinner. It's
traditional, it's safe, and it gives you a reasonably long time to
interact and talk. Lunch is a little more casual, and may impose
stricter time constraints if one or both of you have other commitments
later in the day.
Be sure to choose the place together; if one person is allergic to the
cuisine, has an aversion to it, or has other dietary restrictions, it may not make for a great meeting
spot.
Going to a movie. While
going to the movies can be a good date activity, it's not ideal for a
first date because you'll be spending a few hours together in
silence. Remember: if you don't have a chance to interact, how will you
know if you want to go on a second date? If you do choose this approach,
be sure to build in extra time for dinner beforehand or coffee
afterwards so that you do get that chance to interact. And be sure to
choose a movie (or at least genre) that you're both interesting in. If
you're initiating the date, suggest several different options from a
range of genres. If you only suggest one and it's not one he's
interested in, he may be too polite to say no, but it may not make for a
great date.
Seeing a concert or going to the theater.
Some types of activities - like going to a concert, a play, sporting
event, or the opera - tend to be a little more expensive and
consequently may raise expectations about the outcome of the date. (And
here, I'm not referring to whether you'll wind up in bed.) This is
particularly true if one is treating the other. But it's an opportunity
to share a potentially great, intense experience - especially if the
tickets were hard to obtain. But like going to the movies, you may find
yourselves unable to talk with one another for several hours, so be sure
to build in extra time before and/or afterwards to get to know one
another better.
Participating in an activity.
If both of you share an interest in a particular activity, like roller
blading or nature hiking, this can make for a good first date as well.
If it doesn't work out romantically, you may still become friends and
activity partners. And if one is less experienced than the other, the
other may be able to teach the less experienced one. (But be sure the
less experienced one is enthusiastic about trying it. The television
show "Blind Date" is filled with disastrous dates where one partner is
uncomfortable in participating in the activity.) But again, many of
these sorts of activities, particularly more strenuous ones, may reduce
your opportunities to talk, so be sure to build in lunch, rest breaks,
or other chances to interact with one another.
Picnics. If the weather is nice, a picnic in the park
or on the beach can be a nice, romantic first date. It can, in fact, be
very romantic (think champagne and strawberries dipped in
chocolate). Be cautious about being too romantic unless you can sense
there's a very strong connection already. It's possible to scare off
your potential partner by coming on too strong too quickly. Also, as
with any date involving food, if one of you is bringing the food for
both, be sure to find out your date's allergies, dietary restrictions,
and likes and dislikes. |
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